The Spirits Among Us

I am a single parent of an awesome adopted child who came home to me at just shy of being 5 months old. My beautiful little girl was very verbal by 12 months of age. By 18 months, when we'd go into a restaurant and she would be asked what she wanted to eat, she would reply to a very startled waitperson, "Salad, please!"

As a single parent who is by no means wealthy in dollars, I work. My work is outside the home and I choose to work nights so that I can be with my child during the day. My child attends childcare every night. Unfortunately at the childcare my daughter was attending at the tender age of 2 , her arm was broken in two places. Then the other arm was dislocated with a possible concussion. Shortly thereafter, while I was looking for other childcare, her forehead was split requiring emergency medical care.

Not long after those incidents I began noticing my daughter would look as though she was staring at something that wasn't there. Then she started chatting. It was as if she was holding a conversation with someone, but nobody was there . . . and my daughter was only two. I asked who she was talking to, and she replied, "Bella." My daughter's name is Sara and so I asked her who Bella is and got the reply, "My sister."

What does an only child who is two years old know about sisters? I chalked it up to Bella being an imaginary friend. I've heard many children have them. But then I wondered, what if Bella is really a spirit or Sara's Guardian Angel? She certainly seemed to be around Sara most of the time.

I took Sara to a spiritualist church. If you've never been to one, it is an amazing experience. The energy level can be quite intense. Everybody, both in the physical world and in the spirit world were welcomed to the service. Then a song was sung to bring more positive energy to the room. Announcements were made. More songs. Then a sermon and another song. Then was a healing time and meditation, followed again by song.

And then various members of the Spiritualist Church came to the front to give messages from Spirits to those attending. It was explained that all Mediums are psychic, but not all Psychics are Mediums. They also happened to have a special guest that day. This was a well-known medium from England whose name I want to say is Jean, but I can't remember. At one point, this woman requested permission to speak to me and so I stood before her.

She told me there was a small child about my daughter's age or a little bit older who wanted me to know that she was alright. This was a child who had not passed. It was a daughter who was not a daughter but that it was very important that I know things would be okay and that she had loved me but she didn't belong with me and she had to be where she was. She just didn't want me to worry.

I burst out in tears. I had never been to this Church before. I knew none of these people and certainly not this woman from England who was telling me this. But there was no doubt in my mind that this woman was speaking about my first foster child. A child I was supposed to adopt and who I had with me from six weeks of age until she was two years and one month old. She was reunited with the birth father who requested there be no visitation allowed for me because he felt it would be too intrusive to their bonding.

This woman, Jean, went on to tell me that my daughter Sara had spirits around her. Two children. They have been with her for some time. They play with her and take turns watching over her, especially at night. They wake me to alert me when Sara needs my help with her breathing problems. Jean explained that Sara could communicate with them and that it is a gift many children have. The children name these spirits and the adults think they are imaginary friends.

I've always believed in spirits and so it did not upset me. My thoughts were, if there are spirits to watch over her then it is a blessing because I have to sleep sometime.

As time went on and Sara became a bit older and even more verbal, I witnessed whole little conversations between Sara and her friend Bella and another named Caroline.

One day, during the early spring time, Sara turned to me and told me, "Your Angel Mommy loves you. She misses you. She likes your yellow flowers." That's alot to say for a child who was not quite four.

My daughter never met my Mom because my Mom crossed over 5 weeks before Sara came home to me. My Mother's favorite flower was daffodils and my garden had about 200 daffodils in bloom at that moment.

I took Sara to the big island of Hawaii. We explored and had a blast. While she wasn't so enthralled with the volcanoes, Sara did love the black sand beaches and sea turtles. Sara was fascinated that the sea turtles did not have toenails like her beloved Twinkie, a desert tortoise. We spent a wonderful 10 days on that beautiful island, but when we left, we didn't leave alone.

At home Sara began doing bizarre things with absolutely the wildest behavior. Nothing could get her to stop. She kept saying she didn't want to but "K" made her. After several times of hearing about this person whose name I've abbreviated to "K", I asked Sara who he is.

She told me he was a boy. He's ten. She said she got him at the black beach with the sea turtles. He came home with us. He doesn't have a Mommy anymore. Now please understand, Sara was barely four years old. The behavior was getting more bizzarre and it was not limited to our home. It was carrying over to the childcare to the point that they suggested I get her a psychologist. Sara's behavior was becoming destructive and I began to worry about her safety and mine because she was telling me that "K" wanted her to get a knife and hurt Mommy.

This could not have come from a television show because my house only watches PBS or DVDs. I was getting scared. More "friends" began to show up and at one point I counted seven. It was becoming exhausting. I sought advice from the Spiritualist church who suggested I banish the spirits.

I told my four year old daughter what I planned to do and she cried she didn't want Bella to go, she loved Bella, Bella is her friend. I asked her about "K" and Sara said she was scared of him. So I told her we would banish everyone except Bella and I asked her if she thought that was a good idea. Sara asked, "Really Mommy? How? 'K' will be mad. I'm scared. Can I help?"

I had been advised to have one door open and to light a white candle. I was told to also light a sage bundle, blow it out, and let it be smoldering. I was told to start in Sara's bedroom, stand in the middle of the room and walk to the middle of one wall and back to the center. Then go to the opposite wall and back to the center. Go to the side wall and back to the center and then to the opposite side wall and back to the center, in the shape of the Holy Cross. While doing this, I was to chant "Bad Spirits go away today, tomorrow and forever. Go with God in peace and never come back." After we did this in the shape of a cross, we were to repeat the movement and chant to each corner of the room. And then we were to do this in every room of our house.

My daughter and I followed this ritual together. In every room. When I thought we were done, my Sara said to me, "Mommy, we got to do the bafroom." I asked her if she needed to go potty, but she shook her head very adamently and repeated, "We got to do the bafroom." And so we did.

Then I closed the door. The house seemed brighter and lighter and very peaceful. Sara asked if Bella could come play. I asked her if she was sure she wanted Bella around because I wasn't sure it was a good idea. Sara got sad and tears welled up in her eyes and she hung her head and said, "please Mommy, please can Bella play?" I replied, "Yes, but only Bella and she must behave like a good girl. If she doesn't, then Bella will have to leave too."

Just before my daughter turned five, she told me that she doesn't really see Bella, but she feels her and can hear her, "Just like I hear your Angel Mommy. She loves you. She misses you. She's sorry she didn't tell you she was going to the hospital. She's going to her house now to sit in front of the computer."

My Mother didn't want to worry us and swore my father to secrecy about her going into the hospital for surgery on her lung. She survived the operation, but then came down with hospital acquired pneumonia, hospital acquired Myrsa, and hospital acquired Resistant Ecoli. She didn't survive. But when she was alive and not knitting, crocheting, or quiltmaking, my Mom would be in her laundry room sitting in front of her computer writing emails.

Yesterday my Sara talked to me about Bella. She said she doesn't see her and then corrected herself and explained that she doesn't really see her but she feels her and Bella isn't there as much. Sara said that's because Bella wants Sara to do stuff that Sara shouldn't do and Sara can't stop doing it and gets in trouble. So Sara told Bella that if she can't behave, then she can't come play.

I guess her "imaginary friends" are going away. I wonder what's next . . . maybe she'll learn about the power of rocks?